A trivial rundown of the Bachelorette

I have to say that I was pretty excited about the Bachelorette this season. After all she was Canadian, seemed sweet and well spoken. I have come to realize that she may actually be the most annoying one ever. I am not sure what is wrong with her. A chronic sinus condition, a deviated septum, a cocaine addiction? But why is she always congested? I just want to reach through the tv and blow her nose for her. And what is with that revolting squeal? Soooo annoying.

Then there is her nasty habit of talking too much. What I once thought was just a girl with a firm grasp on the English language is now a girl who won't shut up. For example, if she was asked about her overnight date with Ed she would say something along the lines of " I just think that the emotional toll is finally catching up with us and our firm belief in our affection towards each other is being tested due to the infinite amount of stress we are under. Therefor the physical aspect of our relationship suffered as a manifestation of the enormous burden we are shouldering at this so very stressful time". Now ask that question to a normal person and they would say "Ed can't get a boner". Yup, I said it. Ed can't get a boner.

Speaking of Ed...dear sweet Ed. I have to say that he has been my fave since the beginning. He looks like Denny from Grey's Anatomy and I love Denny, so instant bonus points. In addition to his cuteness he seems mature, normal, grounded, and reasonably intelligent....But my love for Ed was tested this week. The first blow was when he decided that short green bathing trunks were acceptable, and I mean short. As far as I am concerned no man should show thigh when wearing a bathing suit. I am pretty sure he borrowed them from Marcia Brady. They were too short, too tight, and too gross. Then...did you see what he wore to the rose ceremony? What the Hell was that? It looked to be a pale blue or possibly lavender seersucker sports coat? Am I right? What was he thinking? He looked like he was going to an Easter egg hunt! And what was with his bowl cut hair-do? Was it windy? Was Dumb and Dumber his favorite movie? Not good Ed, not good at all.

Then there is Kypton. From the neck down this man is impeccable. I am pretty sure if you cut off his head he would be the poster child for "Hunky Men Weekly". Unfortunately removal of ones head is not possible so we are left with Dumbo man. Why oh why, does he not have those bad boys pinned down? I think a magic feather is in order for this lad. And since we are on the topic of his cranium...I am pretty sure it is empty. I don't think this guy is very bright. I don't mean he is not a member of MENSA. I mean, he more than likely needs an "R" and "L" written on his shoes to help him out. The blank stare would get old real fast.

Slim pickings this year....