Please help...

Adoption is a strange thing. It has the ability to create friendships between people who have never met "in the real world". I have "met" many amazing women through the adoption process. One of whom needs our help. Corey at http://watchingthewaters.wordpress.com/ has been to me, one of the most inspiring women I have met thus far. She has answered my questions, offered suggestions, etc to help Wil and his transition to life in our family. I am sure am not the only one who looks up to her....she needs our help. Please go to her blog and read her story.

Hard to believe...

It makes my brain hurt to think that five years ago today, at this very time I was in the hospital nursery giving Sam his very first bath...he was five hours old and we we just hanging out getting ready to go home...There is no way for me to express in words how much I love this little boy. He is my heart.


Leaving the hospital~12 hours old.

Five years later...

Time has a way of just sneaking up on you, doesn't it?

Love you, buddy.

Bullet Update

I am alive but with Summer and five kids I have found it more than difficult to get on and blog...so here is a rundown of the last several weeks.

* Wil is cornering the market on being defiant and even after parenting four other kids through the "threes" I am lost on what to do. He seems to listen to Phil but looks right at me and does whatever he is not supposed to do. I am hopeful that come Sept and school starting it will improve as he will have more one on one time with me.

* Sam turns five tomorrow and to say that I am a bit weepy is the understatement of the year. It is hard for me to even come to terms with the fact that five years ago today I was trudging along with broken water waiting for labour to begin and now here we are five years later. I ache for him to be small again...

* The new house is coming along and we have a move-in date of October 22, about a month after what we initially thought. Thankfully the buyers of this house were willing to push back their possession with the help of some money...

* My refresher nursing course is gross. Enough said.

* I am attempting to buy furniture for the new house and am finding that I am the most indecisive human being on Earth.

* The kids start back at school next Thursday and I am not ready for that either. Summer goes by far too fast around here.

* Phil and I spent three days in Vegas at the end of July. I cannot express in words how nice it was to have three solid days with only adults. The shopping was great, the food was awesome, and we saw Seinfeld, who by the way, was beyond funny.

* I have many pictures to post but no time as I just saw Wil shove raisins in the cats mouth...

A trivial rundown of the Bachelorette

I have to say that I was pretty excited about the Bachelorette this season. After all she was Canadian, seemed sweet and well spoken. I have come to realize that she may actually be the most annoying one ever. I am not sure what is wrong with her. A chronic sinus condition, a deviated septum, a cocaine addiction? But why is she always congested? I just want to reach through the tv and blow her nose for her. And what is with that revolting squeal? Soooo annoying.

Then there is her nasty habit of talking too much. What I once thought was just a girl with a firm grasp on the English language is now a girl who won't shut up. For example, if she was asked about her overnight date with Ed she would say something along the lines of " I just think that the emotional toll is finally catching up with us and our firm belief in our affection towards each other is being tested due to the infinite amount of stress we are under. Therefor the physical aspect of our relationship suffered as a manifestation of the enormous burden we are shouldering at this so very stressful time". Now ask that question to a normal person and they would say "Ed can't get a boner". Yup, I said it. Ed can't get a boner.

Speaking of Ed...dear sweet Ed. I have to say that he has been my fave since the beginning. He looks like Denny from Grey's Anatomy and I love Denny, so instant bonus points. In addition to his cuteness he seems mature, normal, grounded, and reasonably intelligent....But my love for Ed was tested this week. The first blow was when he decided that short green bathing trunks were acceptable, and I mean short. As far as I am concerned no man should show thigh when wearing a bathing suit. I am pretty sure he borrowed them from Marcia Brady. They were too short, too tight, and too gross. Then...did you see what he wore to the rose ceremony? What the Hell was that? It looked to be a pale blue or possibly lavender seersucker sports coat? Am I right? What was he thinking? He looked like he was going to an Easter egg hunt! And what was with his bowl cut hair-do? Was it windy? Was Dumb and Dumber his favorite movie? Not good Ed, not good at all.

Then there is Kypton. From the neck down this man is impeccable. I am pretty sure if you cut off his head he would be the poster child for "Hunky Men Weekly". Unfortunately removal of ones head is not possible so we are left with Dumbo man. Why oh why, does he not have those bad boys pinned down? I think a magic feather is in order for this lad. And since we are on the topic of his cranium...I am pretty sure it is empty. I don't think this guy is very bright. I don't mean he is not a member of MENSA. I mean, he more than likely needs an "R" and "L" written on his shoes to help him out. The blank stare would get old real fast.

Slim pickings this year....

One year home...

Today marks one year since Wil came home. I am not about to say that this has been an easy year, or an easy transition because all who know me know that it has been at times, an uphill climb. Adopting and now parenting Wil has taught me things about myself that I didn't know. My patience has been tried. My sanity has been questioned. It has taken me a long time to get to appreciate my new normal.

A year in I have to say that things are slowly becoming "normal" again. Parenting five children is now becoming easier and my relationship with my new son is slowly evolving. If anyone would have told me before he came home that we were looking at a year to get to a sense of balance, I would have thought they were being ridiculous. Now that we have 365 days behind us I can say that I am grateful for each and every one of those days. My sense of accomplishment in navigating what turns out to be, one of the hardest years of my life, has left me feeling stronger, left me more confident in how we parent our children, and most importantly- happy.

Happy Forever Day, Wil!

Part 7...

I was happy to get home and find that it was nice and warm outside and couldn't help but wonder how Wil would have reacted if we brought him home in the winter. I was preparing myself for a fight to get him into the car seat but to my surprise he just sat there and looked out the window. It wasn't more than 10 minutes and he was asleep. I am sure the amount of sleeping he was doing was not a physical need but more of an emotional one. If he was asleep we didn't exist, make sense? We arrived home as a caravan of cars and brought Wil into the house. The kids had decorated with balloons and streamers and hung their sign on the garage door.

More people arrived and Wil did very well. He was shy until the balloons came down and then he had a blast throwing them in the air and catching them. Everyone wanted a chance to hold him or cuddle him and he seemed ok with it, except for the men, he was not too sure about them, can you blame him?
Wil and the kids....

I realized about an hour or two into the party that I was exhausted. A tired that I cannot explain. It gripped every inch of my body and I truly felt close to tears. I am not sure if it was simply being so physically tired or if it was the combination of that and the emotional roller coaster I had just been on. What I did know was that I wanted to go to bed...for a week. People soon started to file out and before I knew it my house seemed empty. Sam went to bed with Phil, Grace was passed out on the couch, and Wil was looking at me like he had just been on a week long bender, talk about over stimulation! I brought him upstairs and tucked him into bed. He rolled over and without a sound went to sleep. I couldn't help but pause at the bedroom door and watch my two boys sleeping. That little bed has been waiting for a warm body for a long time and after all that time he was here....

and the fun begins....

Part 6...

The alarm clock went off first, the phone never did, and the hotel wake up call came when I was in the shower. I answered the phone while in the shower. I am not sure why they have a phone in the bathroom and if you think about what is probably on that phone you may actually throw up a bit in your mouth. YUCK. I don't even sit on the top cover of the hotel beds and here I am putting this thing against my face....ok, moving on.

I must have been enjoying that shower a bit too much because when I got out I realized I needed to hustle to get downstairs in time for my first flight. I attempted to beautify myself knowing there would be many pictures taken that day once we got home. My hair had become the texture of a brilo pad and since I had no flat iron I tried to blow dry it and brush it out. Well that didn't work so well since the hair dryer didn't actually ever get warm. Oh well, I tried. Once Wil and were dressed, teeth brushed and out the door we headed down to find out where we checked in. We were flying to Toronto first and then home to Calgary. I am not sure why but there are about five counters for each airline and by some miraculous turn of events I found the right one on the first try. It was weird. The woman behind the counter kept smiling at me. I wasn't sure why but she did. She would look at Wil and then at me and give me this weird soap opera smile. At one point she said to me "God will bless you for this". What do you say to that? Uh, thanks? It took her forever to get the boarding passes printed mainly because every two freaking seconds she would gaze at me and smile. I swear in some cultures that would make us married...

We grabbed our boarding passes and moved on to my favorite part of the airport-security. I immediately find myself behind some uptight idiot who is obviously a moron in a hurry. He is taking his stuff and literally throwing it on the belt, nothing in a basket just loose on the belt. The security people tell him to redo it and put everything in a basket and then push it through. That was obviously a big inconvenience to him because he starts swearing and yelling and acting like he is related to salami man. I edge by him since I am not a moron and know the rules. He shoots me a dirty look and mumbles something about me not having any manners. Whatever. Dork. I am now officially starving. I managed to eat almost nothing in Haiti but since arriving in Miami I have become a ravenous hog. I scope out my options and settle on a muffin and of course, a diet coke. Wil has decided that he is on a hunger strike at this point. He wants nothing to do with any of the food I have brought him and just clamps his mouth shut when I offer it to him. I am not sure how smart he is but I assume he is bright enough to not starve himself. I give him the food and let him do with it as he so pleases. I then, gorge myself with ooey gooey muffiny goodness.

The woman across from me where we are sitting is another loon. She looks at me then at Wil and then does a "tsk tsk". What does that mean? The plane ride to Toronto was easy. Wil fell asleep and I think may have as well. It was a bit bumpy at the end but I managed to keep that muffin where it belongs, in my small intestine. I am one of those people who loves to look out the window when we land. I love seeing all the little buildings, the cars driving by, the people, etc. This was no exception. I sat there with my face pressed up against the plane window like a complete a dork with this big goofy smile on my face. There is something about arriving back home in Canada, it just feels different. The greenness, the cleanliness, the quality of the air...it just feels right. Since this was our point of entry into Canada we had to do our immigration papers here. We lined up in the normal immigration line and were then taken to a different office to get Wil's permanent residency forms done. The officer was very nice and took us into his office. He asked me the standard questions like "does your son have any children?" or "has your son been to jail?"...after he was done he stood up and came out from behind his desk. He shook Wil's hand and said "Welcome to Canada buddy, Welcome home." It was very sweet.

Before you can leave the immigration area and move on to your connector flight they feed all new Canadians through this area that is lined with pamphlets and brochures and a crazy woman with way too much eye make-up. She asks where Wil is from and what language he speaks and makes note of it in her little ledger book. She then starts handing me all sorts of brochures, these were a few of my favorites..."How to use a newspaper in Canada" (I guess ours are different than in other parts of the world), "How to catch the bus", and another beauty and totally age appropriate for a two year old, "How to get a job". I told her that I was Canadian, had been my entire life and that we didn't need these useless wastes of paper. We had a car, Wil can't read, and he isn't planning on getting a job until he is at least four....she would have nothing to do with it and just kept piling them in my hands. After her a guy comes up with a big nylon bag full of more crap to give me. I told him I didn't want it, he told me I had to take it. I have a two year old, a diaper bag, my laptop, and a carry-on, like I need another freakin bag! We walk towards the door and just to be a complete hag I make a deliberate big deal out of throwing it all in the garbage can by the door...

Being the complete hog that I am I am hungry again. We have to change terminals to get to our final flight which involves miles of walking, several moving sidewalks, and a tram ride. By the time we get there I am sweating and need a nap. I stuff my face full of sushi and Wil continues to play the role of Gandhi. It isn't long before we get on the plane, the final plane!!!


It was about an hour into the flight when sleeping Wil decided to release the fury of his bowels. It would have been a gross tale of Haiti baby poop, an airplane washroom, and turbulence if it wasn't for the humor of watching the woman across the aisle almost barf from the smell. She was obviously getting wafts of the fury because I looked over at her and saw her sniffing the air and then making an awful face. She would then get out a magazine and start fanning it in front of her face. She had no idea where the smell was coming from and just to not clue her in it was from us I too would pretend to smell the air and scrunch up my face in disgust. The thing that always gets me is if you know something smells why do you keep trying to smell it? Every few seconds she would stop fanning herself with her US weekly and deeply inhale the aroma of what was my son's poop. Then she would act shocked and disgusted to find that it still smelled. Thankfully we had no leaks and other than loud screams of fear from being changed at 35 000 feet Wil was fine. I did notice though after our first poop explosion that the next time we went to the washroom there was a bag of coffee in the washroom left to absorb the questionable odor leaking from that little lavatory garbage can.

The plane landed on time and since I had already cleared customs and this was now a domestic flight we were able to get out of the terminal quickly. For some reason I felt strangely nervous. I knew in a matter of minutes I was going to see my friends and family...we walked to the frosted doors and they opened and there they were!! Phil, the kids, my sister and brother in law, my niece and nephew, grandparents, neighbors, friends, it was great!

Checking out all the new faces...




We hung out at the airport for a bit while everyone met Wil and then headed back to our place for the party!!

to be continued...