Lately I have been stressed. Wil has been extra challenging and the bond that began to take shape is being taxed to it's limit as of late. I am not sure why he is so difficult lately. Is it normal 3 year old behavior? Is it that he is just comfortable enough now to act like a dink? Is he trying to kill me? Lately Wil has been saying "No" to everything I say. Looking right at me when I ask him to not do something and deliberately doing the exact opposite. When he doesn't get his way he cries. When he doesn't get his way fast enough he cries. Take dinner the other night....Phil was at work and since my culinary skills hover somewhere around zero I made bagel sandwiches and soup. I put the sandwiches down and went back to get the soup. Since I only have two arms I only carried two bowls. I put the bowls down in front of Ty and Sam. When Wil saw that he didn't get soup he started yelling "my soup, my soup". I told him I would get it in a minute and he then proceeded to grab his place mat and whip it and the sandwich on the floor in retaliation to me not having three arms. I took him away from the table and put him in a time-out (yes, he was still in eye sight of me) After a few minutes in time-out he came back and ate like nothing was wrong, until I didn't fill his drink up fast enough and he then whipped the food on the floor again. Then what? What am I supposed to do with that? If that was one of my bio kids they would have simply gone to bed, no dinner, just good-night. Can I do that with him?
By the end of most days I find myself physically and emotionally drained. I am sure I am not the most pleasant person for my husband to come home to at night but by six or seven at night I am done. I was soooo excited to get away this weekend even if was only for a day.
Saturday night I went to Canmore with my sister and a couple girlfriends. It was wonderful to have 24 hours of kid free, tantrum free, housecleaning free time. We had dinner, drank some ridiculously gross martini's, talked until 4 am, strolled through the little town, had brunch...it was lovely.
We can vent about our kids, our husbands, our ups and downs and never once it is taken out of context. Never are you made to feel guilty for feeling the way you you feel. I am so grateful to have them.
6 comments:
Hugs!! I understand that acting out so well..... it drives me crazy. They get one warning, then sit in time out. If they continue in the corner with their attitude they go to bed. It is very frustrating. I do not think they should be treated any differently than their siblings.
Today is Nelson's 4th birthday - hoping that the new year rids him of some of that 2 year old bad behavior.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I've only had one in the "3's" so far, but all I can say is, that year was a doozy. I kept hearing about the terrible two's but three was so much worse! I was complaining to some friends and one of them told me, "Oh yeah. Three is the new two".
I would also think that he may be having some of the delayed tantrums of the two-year-old years. Maybe you have to think of him at that age since he missed it with you? The scene you described sounds like a day in the life with my daughter. Ugh.
hhhmmmm, the class I'm taking would agree with Kristin, that he is acting out due to his past trauma, but then I struggle with normal 3 stuff.
With ALL my boys, three was the DOOZY of doozies.
While you are still attaching, I would keep up with the time ins, reinforcing words, and giving him a little extra love and attention.
Food sounds like a trigger, maybe always try to serve him and Will first?? The older kids will definitely 'get' that he has some food issues....
Oh girl... I hope something, somehow turns for the permanent better soon. Wish I could actually help.
he's feeling more comfortable with the family and you. Hence, he is testing his boundaries. I think he has been home long enough to ease into the same consequences you give the others.
Hey - glad you got to have a bit of a break with friends...sorry that things have been crazy for you Jen!! I hope things settle for you. I know we just moved and it has awakened the once dormant beast in our youngest. Scary. I could do with a bender myself.
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